We’re back with this feature, let’s see how long I can keep it going because if I’m going to post then it better be quality. I know some of y’all looking at this post are like, “Where the hell did she go?! Where were her super gay posts about bookish women?!”
Can’t we do that every month from now on? Every month is women’s month. Every.
She went on a break. Not a hiatus. I just am sort of sorting through a lot of things right now and learning a lot. I’m figuring out the answers to so many questions floating around my head. I want to blog again, though. I want to create but I’m almost like a brand newbie again. I want to blog but like really blog. Like I want this blog to be a living being but right now it is a lifeless balloon and I will do what I can to blow air back into it. Just keep blowing and blowing until it gets bigger and pops and it’s something different. And I’m not talking about stats. Thanks for joining me on this rollercoaster ride and for my tens of new followers: you have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into. Welcome!!! We are interpreting a quote today. I’ve been wanting to do a series of this. So let’s give it a try.
You will love him to ruins. – The Revolution of Mara Dyer
This quote resonates with me in a way that’s hard to explain. I am Mara Dyer. Everything I touch falls apart, everyone I love falls to ruins. I love like it’s my last meal and I haven’t eaten in over a week, I consume it and consume it like boots worn to the point of the sole falling off. Till the thing being loved is nothing but tatters. I love a lot of good people right now. I love all of you book people, I love a pair of people who came into my life last summer and changed it forever, I love a lot of people who you will never know. I love a lot.
I ruin everything. I have a good thing and I drown in the moment of that good thing with that good someone, and I do something that somehow messes it up. That’s how I feel because that’s how I have been taught to feel for so long. The bad thing about loving things to ruins is that they become nothing but shreds and tears and threads but the good thing is you really get the most of that thing you buy or that friend you have. You get the most memories with it. You learn from it and you get that extra definition added to your name. You live yet another lifetime and you get to shed an old skin and put on a new one. I am learning to think of days and weeks in terms of small infinities. You live in one eternity and you get to go on a subway train to the next one and it’s amazing. You don’t really have one life, you have a million. Because every one is brand new. Fresh. Open arms waiting to hug you.
I loved the Mara Dyer series because it challenged the idea of love. Yes, it was a heterosexual relationship but it challenged the idea of most loving relationships in YA. The idea of them being simple, attached but bland. Mara’s love is WILD. FIERCE. UNENDING. I think Michelle Hodkins really did a fine job of exposing what love is and can be like. It is a beast that asks you how much you want something and makes you scream back at it’s fighting and fighting. Fighting until you finally feel that dreadful but interesting feeling of being alive.