*I read this book April 12-14, 2015. This is, in fact, being transferred from my Goodreads*
“We all have darkness inside of us. Some of us are better at dealing with it than others.”
“I bet if you cut open my stomach, the black slug of depression would slide out.”
I recently finished MY HEART AND OTHER BLACK HOLES and I actually had to take a few days before writing the review. I usually prefer to write immediately because otherwise, I feel like I forget points.
But. It just kind of stunned me.
It just kind of took hold of mind and wrapped it around in a depth of a new world. A new way of thinking. This book spoke to me on so many levels. And so, I felt I had to organize this one a bit differently than I do my usual reviews.
Level 1: It’s depth.
I’m going to be pretty straightforward and some might object, but honestly if it’s a debut author, you don’t expect it to be THIS ON POINT.
You don’t expect a debut author who’s writing her first book on something as vast, serious and diverse as a mental health issue. Especially, one as common amongst adolescents with mental health issues (depression) to be done with so much depth. It wasn’t shallow. It didn’t disgrace those that were suffering with a portrayed as whiny, “I want to kill myself.”
Jasmine properly developed Aysel (Uh-zell) with REAL issues. With the kind of issues that those with depression suffer from. Not a misuse of the word in a situation all “depressed” because a teenage girl just broke up with her boyfriend of two months.
*This is not a bash on “girly girl” women (whatever the hell thats supposed to mean), as I am a strong egalitarianist, however most authors in the past seem to think it’s their personal duty to put in weak heroines that seem to cry over a broken nail.*
Instead, Jasmine actually developed it. Giving Aysel roots, excessive bullying, the loneliness and effect of the shards that is her life in the beginning. Jasmine actually developed Aysel’s depression and journey towards suicide with shattering, heartbreaking thoughts that were hard to read at times because THEY FELT TOO REAL. Because they WERE too real.
Honestly? It’s been about 5 days now since I
read MY HEART and I’m still a little shattered remembering Aysel’s thoughts and how real, how close it hit me on a level that I truly cannot verbalize.
Jasmine had this character, saying, thinking lines that destroyed the stigma for depression.
Aysel was depressed, but SHE WAS BADASS. Even despite her storm, she had an inner strength that she didn’t seem to realize. “That’s some sexist bullshit.” She truly cut down some barriers in the stigma and that is why it is no surprise that this was optioned for a movie. I would pay to go see it again and again.
-Level 2: Character Development
Jasmine made these characters funny, smart, and sassy—particularly Aysel, although Roman definitely is. They were both people that could have been actually living and that is why I think MY HEART hit me the hardest. On a personal level, (and this is something I don’t like to make public knowledge), I have had many depressed friends, and to see their pain in these characters is why it truly slayed the most.
Level 3: That Writing Style, Though!
Just starting this book, I already knew it would be a favorite. It started off on an easy, but powerful flow. The first PAGE was quotable. It had me shaking, and heartbroken immediately. The intelligence portrayed and the musical analogy killed me.
“Music, especially classical music, especially Mozart’s Requiem Mass in D Minor, has kinetic energy. If you listen hard enough, you can hear the violin’s bow trembling above the strings, ready to ignite the notes. To set them in motion. And once, the notes are in the air, they collide against one another. They SPARK. They BURST.
I spend a lot of time wondering what dying feels like. What dying sounds like. If I’ll burst like those notes, let out my last cries of pain, and then go silent forever. Or maybe I’ll turn into a SHADOWY STATIC that’s barely there, IF YOU JUST LISTEN HARD ENOUGH.”
That last paragraph slayeddd.
Thank YOU, JASMINE WARGA!
I feel like this review was incoherent typing IT WAS GREAT. IT WAS REAL. IT WAS AWESOME. I AM THOROUGHLY SLAYED.
But. It was. I am.
Five days. FIVE DAYS. And I am still speechless, but I had to do a review before I forgot what I wanted to say. I’m grateful for the realistic ending and in short, MY HEART was REAL, raw, honest, beautiful, shattering, heartbreaking, epic, and overall, awesome. “WHAT WE NEED IN YA NOW” should be quoted on the front of this book because it’s so devastatingly TRUE. And that’s exactly why you should read it.
(PS. It’s honestly no surprise that I loved the books of 2/4 #Beckminavidera authors. YOU SHOULD ALSO CHECK OUT SIMON VS THE HOMO SAPIENS AGENDA BY BECKY ALBERTALLI and MORE HAPPY THAN NOT by Adam Silvera in June!)
About The Blogger
Wesaun is a teen book lion. She’s also an art enthusiast: poetry, theater, and fan art, as well as paintings/drawings. She loves to be overenthusiastic over books and authors.
You can find her at her Twitter: @epicbooklover.
You can also try her business